Thursday, November 8, 2012

Discussion: Learning to Love Me

Hi everyone, I have a discussion topic today about relationships. Already twice this month, people have asked me when I will be getting a boyfriend or do I have one/do I want one?

Some blogger friends thought those questions were rude. I, on the other hand, didn't pick up that impression. Then again, I usually miss subtle things like that. Anyway, my answer varied, but basically, it comes down to one basic answer: I DON'T NEED ONE.

Why don't I need one?

Well, it has something to do with myself. After my first and only relationship that lasted almost two years, I've learned many things. One of them was that I needed to love and respect myself before allowing another person in. As I get older, I'm becoming more and more content with being alone. Please note, being alone is NOT the same as being lonely.

I'm happy just to be reading my precious books, watching my favorite TV shows, and following my dreams. I don't need someone to make me feel good about myself. I don't need someone to make me feel "complete." I complete MYSELF. Now, you might think I'm some strong woman. I'm not. I've fallen and made mistakes. I simply choose to learn from the experience. I got hurt once; I thought I won't come back from it. Then I discovered the world of fiction. It helped me recover and eventually became my sanctuary when things don't go the way I planned.

So, if you're single, too, tell me in the comments why :)

12 comments:

  1. I love being alone! I am perfectly happy to be by myself.

    I'm sure those people meant well. But if you are happy, don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Being alone means no drama. Quite uneventful but sometimes it's better than stressing out about other people.

      Delete
  2. You are not alone Arianne! I am a perpetual single lady. My mother is afraid I'll die a spinster. It's not that I can't or won't get a boyfriend, it's just that I haven't met very men many who capture my attention. Like you I am perfectly content with my books, job, friends and family who keep me busy enough. And you're right being a long doesn't mean I'm lonely. I hate when folks assume that. Honestly, if I could meet a guy who was perfectly happy with sitting quietly at home all weekend then I would be happy. I guess over the years I've become more and more of a homebody and I hate leaving the house when there are just so many books I could be reading at home or spending hours on the net. HAHAHA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That man who is perfectly happy to sit at home with his wife in the weekend is both my uncles :D So, they DO exist!

      Delete
  3. More power to you! I've been single essentially my whole life and have absolutely zero desire to change that... even as the big 3-0 looms closer! I love being alone and much prefer my own company to that of anyone else for extended periods of time. Being alone gives me time to decompress and do what I want whenever I want after spending the entire day surrounded by (and having to deal with) people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, there are days when I just want to crawl into my bed and be in solitude for a couple days.

      Delete
  4. Great blog Arianne!!!

    When my first marriage fell apart, I learned to love being alone. I was my own party! :)

    You definitely need to be happy with yourself because no other person can fill that void of self-love... When/if you do find a guy someday, you'll be in a much better place to not need his approval because you're already your biggest fan! :)

    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love the last part of your comment: "biggest fan"

      You're so amazing Lisa, thank you!

      Delete
  5. Well, I am not single, but there are times when I really wish I was (sadly). I've been with my husband for 20 years and married 15 of those years. I love him and he is great in so many ways, but at times he can be pain in the butt. In my next life, I will find somebody who is happy and carefree, not a Mr. Crankypants or I will just remain single. Who needs the headaches, when there's some hunky hero in a good book to curl up with.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I feel the same way that you do Arianne! It's great to know that there are other people out there who get it! Haha, a lot of the reasons you listed are so similar to my list. Ultimately what it comes down to for me is that I want to do things that I want to do. I don't want to have to be accountable to a significant other for so many things. I'm still young, I'm graduating this year, I want to be the best person that I could possibly be by myself, before I want to think about being with someone else. Ya know?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm graduating this year too! I might move closer to LA after my birthday next year. I'm excited and scared. But yeah, a boyfriend would just get in my way right now.

      Delete